I kind of thought I was done with this blog. But, I'm afraid to say I've been getting this nagging feeling to come back and document what I've been going through with my new little guy.
On December 7, 2012, I had my second sweet baby boy. Making me a proud mama of 3 kids. My FPIES baby is now 3 years old, and completely FPIES free. Although, he definitely has a sensitive tummy still. So, FPIES has kind of been a distant memory for me for the past year. I didn't worry about it that much.
Now that I have another baby things have seemed all too familiar. Chandler is now 4 months old, but these 4 months have been so incredibly difficult. When he was just a couple of weeks old, I started noticing the same issues I had with Kyle. Mucousy stool. Occasional blood. I was in denial. I wanted to pretend it wasn't there, because I knew that I would probably have to cut out dairy and soy all over again. When I went to his 2 month well visit (yes, I put it off that long), I begged the pediatrician to tell me it was something OTHER than a food intolerance. But, I'm sure you already know what he said. Cut out dairy and soy. So, I did. In addition to the yucky stool, we were dealing with Colic this time around and acid reflux. So, my little guy was a mess. I cut out dairy and soy and did not see improvement. Called my pediatrician and he suggested to cut out nuts, eggs, and corn. I also decided on my own to cut out chocolate (because I love it and eat a lot of it). The good news was that the reflux seemed to get better. But, the stool has never really improved.
Over the past four months, the sleep deprivation and fussiness have been the hardest. I wouldn't worry so much if it was just the yucky stool, but to have all the symptoms combined have been hard. Especially when trying to take care of 3 kids now.
The good news is that I have pinpointed that eggs are for sure a reactor food for my little guy. The week I tried to add them back into my diet, we had severe reflux and night wakings again. But, even with everything else I've cut out, I tested his stool for blood today (thanks to another fellow FPIES mommy who had access to medical test strips) and it tested positive. So discouraging.
A couple of weeks ago, through a lot of prayer, and thought, I made the decision that it might be time to think about giving up breastfeeding for the sake of my sanity and our family. Worrying about all of this for a second time has taken its toll on me. I feel like I am not being the best Mom I can be to my kids with all the stress of this. My hope was that if I could get him on a formula that he could tolerate and gain weight on, then I might have some of the stress lifted from me with all the constant worrying about what I'm eating him that's hurting him. I felt a sense of peace with that decision, which surprised me because I am so PRO breastfeeding and did it so long with Kyle.
But, the bad news is that I have had no success switching him to formula. The two kinds (Nutramigen and Elecare) I've tried he hates. He screams his head off, arches his back, and when he sees that bottle coming (or smells it...this stuff smells nasty) he is instantly mad. He has barely ingested a drop of either one.
So, what's a Mom to do? I go back and forth. The time is going by quickly. Some days, I think, I can do this another 8 months. But, I worry too. He is my smallest baby by far, and to think that I'm still eating something everyday that might be hurting him is hard for me. But, my pediatrician seems to think that I shouldn't worry too much about it. Yet, he is supportive either way.
Chandler seems much happier than in those first couple of months. He smiles at everyone and it makes my day to see this kid smile. He seems generally happy, too. Yet, he doesn't sleep good, and lately, I swear he doesn't seem interested in breastfeeding all that much.
I have his 4 month well visit this week. We will see what the doc says. I dread when we introduce solids with this kid. I'm going to be a wreck.